Drugs 'R' Phun

2006-08-04T22:55:00.000-04:00

Put down the stupid cell phone and talk to me!

Bad Name of the Day: Octavius. Do you want your child to get beaten up?

Names

2006-08-01T21:00:00.000-04:00

Bad Name of the Day: Teekeylah (tee-kee-lah). How much "Teekeylah" do you have to drink to think this would be a good name for your child?

Sorry

2006-07-26T21:08:00.000-04:00

Sorry all, life has more hectic than usual. But I'm back- let the party resume!

Yeah, right.

I have been complained about by a customer for the first time ever! What did I do that was so awful that Mr. Idiot wanted me fired? When he called me to have his prescriptions refilled, I asked him his name, phone number, date of birth, and/or prescription numbers.

He refused to give any of them. He insisted that he only give me his phone number and I should know what prescriptions he needed filled. I told him I needed some sort of information to verify I had the right person, and then I asked him which scripts he needed filled.

My bad! I didn't realize that I was being so rude. How dare I make sure I have the right person and fill what they actually need.

He didn't want all his scripts filled, but somehow I was supposed to read his mind and just know which ones to fill.

Sorry, I skipped the day mind reading was taught in pharmacy school.

Mr. Idiot said that I deliberately antagonized him by taking a whole minute to fill each script! Guess what, it really takes a minute for me to fill each script on the computer.

Can you guess why I'm calling him Mr. Idiot yet?

Bad Name of the Day: Somalia. For a newborn white girl.

Names

2006-06-12T20:53:00.000-04:00

Bad Name of the Day: Nugget. Nugget?!? Yes, Nugget. As a first name. Another case of why did your parents hate you?

Second Bad Name of the Day: Garland. Like the stuff you put on your Christmas tree. Again as a first name.

Things that make you go hmm...

2006-05-26T21:09:00.000-04:00

Lady brought in a script today for diapers for her five month old baby. She has Medicaid. Yes, New York State Medicaid covers diapers, but that is supposed to be for disabled people, not lazy people. Now don't get upset at that comment, read on.

I ask if the baby is disabled. She gets offended. I was honestly curious. While figuring out how to bill baby diapers (I know how to do adult diapers), she started talking to one of my techs. The tech was stunned and told me about the conversation.

The woman said that since she was out of high school, she now has to keep having babies or New York will try to make her go to work.

Awww, poor thing.

She was okay with having a kid every two years because the state would pay for it all- Medicaid for medical matters, $100 a month from food stamps per extra child, WIC provides extra formula, Section 8 pays her rent (and with enough kids she will qualify for a bigger apartment), welfare pays for everything else. And she was so happy because she just found out Medicaid even pays for diapers!

Grrr.

Medicaid is for those who cannot work or those who can work but don't make enough to afford insurance. All of these government assistance programs are. They are NOT for those too lazy to get off their butts and go to work.

I know it's not politically correct, but I would love to spike her food with birth control pills. Just grind them up and sprinkle on whatever food she is buying.

2006-05-24T20:24:00.000-04:00

If you go through the drive-thru on a windy day and don't use either the clips or the clipboard to secure your money or prescription, don't expect me to go outside and retreive it for you.

I had three (!) able bodied adults who refused to secure their money or paper prescritions and, when they blew out of the drive-thru drawer, wanted me to go outside and pick it up for them.

I really don't think so.

One lady started dropping f-bombs and being a general potty mouth when her twenty-two dollars blew away. This was after I told her to put the cash on the clipboard- and she literally put it on the clipboard, not in the clip on the clipboard.

And that was after she treated me like an idiot. I told her that her total was seven dollars. Her response to that was to hold up a twenty and two ones and tell me twice that she wanted a ten and a five for change. Both times she said that, I told her yes, that twenty-two minus seven is fifteen and the largest bills I could give her would be a five and a ten so I would do so.

What a moron.

One person muttered that I should just stick out my hand and grab it. My arm doesn't reach four feet. I'm five feet tall on a good day, and I have tried, in the past, to reach out to morons who can't pull close enough to reach the drawer, but my back hurts after several hours of that. I informed her of this, and she said it was my job to do so. I said, no, my job it to fill prescriptions, not to contort myself so I hurt for the next week so she could skip using a clipboard.

Most people can figure out how to work a clipboard. Those who can't, oh well. Not my problem.

Name

2006-05-21T20:14:00.000-04:00

Bad Name of the Day: Gary Garcia. If you want to pay tribute to the late Dead lead singer, just call the kid Jerry Garcia. If not, name him something totally different so people don't constantly ask him if he knows his name is very close to Jerry Garcia.

Crazy

2006-05-15T22:38:00.000-04:00

New York state law is crazy. Only a pharmacist (or intern) can call a doctor's office for refills on a prescription, but anyone at the doctor's office can (and do) authorize refills. I'm not talking about nurses, I'm talking about secretaries.

People who don't know what the drugs are used for, or how they are supposed to be used, are able to make decisions about a patient's medication. Receptionists call in new prescriptions or try to answer questions about altering the prescription for whatever reason. Some even ask what the patient wanted, or just say to give the patient whatever they want.

Yet a pharmacy technician can't call and ask if Mr. Smith can have a refill of his blood pressure medication. It's a yes or no question. I'm not talking about taking a verbal order for a new script. I'm talking about refilling a medication that the patient has been on.

Crazy.

2006-05-14T08:44:00.000-04:00

Lady brings in a script for her husband for a bowel prep kit (the nasty stuff you drink to clear out your intestines before a colonoscopy) last night. I tell her we are all out of cherry and orange flavors- all we have is lemon lime. She says okay, so I run the script.

Turns out her new Medicare plan (don't get me started about Medicare) doesn't cover this prep kit- they have a different preferred one. I tell her it costs sixty-four dollars, but I can call her MD Monday to switch to the preferred brand so it will be covered. She says no, her husband has his colonoscopy 8am Monday morning.

She pays cash and takes the lemon lime flavor home.

I could see this coming- she calls me back later that night. Her husband says he won't drink the lemon lime, he has to have the orange or cherry flavor. I tell her we are out of it. I can order it for Monday, but it won't do any good. I tell her I can have whoever is working tomorrow call around to other stores in my chain to see if anyone else has it in stock. She says she wants me to call every pharmacy in Buffalo.

I tell her no, I will do her a favor and call the other stores in my chain, but I'm not calling every other pharmacy in Buffalo until I find the flavor her husband likes. She can do that.

She starts complaining about the lack of customer service. I'm ready to laugh at her- I just offered to have my replacement call around tomorrow and find the product for her, and she wants me to do all her work tonight. First of all, only five twenty-four hour pharmacies are open in Buffalo at that current time, and I've already called them all. Second, this is not my responsibility. I have about a hundred other people that want to be waited on and have their prescriptions filled.

She says she wants her money back. I tell her we don't give refunds once a medication has left the pharmacy. She says she is going to have me fired. I tell her that is company policy, and the policy of most pharmacies. I remind her that I did tell her this before she paid for the medication earlier this evening. She says she knows I told her that, but she thought I would make an exception for her.

Nope.

What gets me is that she and her husband have had this prescription for over two months and wait till the weekend before they need it to fill it. If they had come in Thursday or even Friday, this whole mess could have been avoided.

Bad Name of the Day: Sarah Cynthia Smith (slightly changed to protect the stupid parents and me from getting sued). God forbid this child have a lisp.

Name

2006-05-12T21:14:00.000-04:00

Bad Name of the Day: Gerrie. Is it pronounced Gary or Jerry? Either way, it's a very strange spelling.

Let's Do the Time Warp (yet again)

2006-05-06T20:54:00.000-04:00

“What time do you open on Sundays?”

Me: “We’re open 24 hours a day, every day of the year.”

“What about Memorial Day?”

Last time I checked, Memorial Day is a day of the year. It doesn’t exist outside of time in some weird sci-fi time warp.

Bad Name of the Day: Luarie. Not Laurie, Luarie. Pronounced Lou-ar-ee. It’s always going to be pronounced Lar-ee, and everyone who sees it written down will try to correct it.

Name

2006-05-05T17:22:00.000-04:00

Bad Name of the Day: Brooke Lynn. It's spelled like a valley girl yuppie name, but sounds like a part of New York city.

Going out in a Blaze of Glory

2006-05-04T18:51:00.000-04:00

Today our microwave at work went out in a blaze of glory. Literally. Luckily the employee who was heating up her lunch stayed next to the microwave and caught it before it could spread. She turned it off and threw a bowl of water on it. Unfortunately, the breakroom is right next to the pharmacy so it smelled like melted plastic all day. Yuck.

Bad Name of the Day: Petey. Not Peter or Pete, but Petey. How is this kid ever going to be taken seriously when he's older?

Pity Party

2006-05-03T18:51:00.000-04:00

Please don't complain to me about your $10 copay on a $500 drug. I don't want to hear it. Many people don't have insurance, many more have insurance that wouldn't cover it, and many others have insurance that only covers it at a $100 copay.

Boo hoo.

Bad name of the Day: Mandy. Yes, its my name, but give a child this name and everyone will assume that their real, legal name is Amanda. Fun, fun, fun!

American Idiot (part II)

2006-05-01T19:32:00.000-04:00

Flonase is a nasal spray for allergies that came out with a generic not long ago. Strangely enough, it is made by the same company (but a different distributer) that makes the brand name at the same factory. The only differences are the label, the color of the cap, and the price.

In the last week I have had three people swear up and down that when they were switched to the generic that it just doesn't work. Uh-huh. Is it the cost that makes it not work, or the orange cap instead of the green one?

Yes, the placebo effect is alive and kicking. Give a person a sugar pill and tell them it will get rid of their stuffy nose, but might give them a headache, and many will say it cleared up their stuffy nose and some of them will even get a headache. It works the opposite way too- give a person a nasal spray for their stuffy nose and tell them it usually doesn't work, and many will say it doesn't do a thing for them.

Bad Name of the Day: Triplets Gary, Carrie, and Terri. They all sound exactly the same over the phone.

American Idiot

2006-04-30T19:25:00.000-04:00

If you take six pills a day and your doctor prescribed four a day, I am not giving you an early refill on your Oxycodone. It's a very strong narcotic. It's illegal for me to do that. My going to jail is not worth your stupidity.

And don't tell about how you used more than you were supposed to because your doctor just doesn't understand. Get a new doctor if you don't like you current one. Your doctor may just know you better than you think.

The few bad apples like you who try to scam and get narcotics illegally screw it up for all those who really are in pain and use their medication responsibly.

Rush got busted for doctor shopping. I wish more lowlifes would be busted. I try to call whenever I find one- the person who gets narcotics from more than one doctor, possibly filling them at more than one pharmacy, and makes trips to the ER every weekend to get more narcotics.

You're the idiots that make waiting times at ERs so long.

Bad Name of the Day: September. Just because May and June are names, it doesn't mean you can just pick any other month you want to. Espically when the kid is born in December.

Dreams

2006-04-27T21:36:00.000-04:00

CNN has reports about how the Medicare 'Doughnut hole' sucks. Well, duh. Many seniors are paying the same or more for their meds. The only ones making out on the whole deal are the drug companies and HMOs.

Even pharmacies are taking a hit- lower reimbursements, very slow reimbursements, not being reimbursed when a few pills are given at no charge to patients because the HMOs deny or delay covering the drug.

Some drugs cannot be stopped suddenly, and HMOs are refusing to cover them.

The Medicare drug program is horrid.

Right now, the government pays for medical and drug coverage for the very old, the very young, and the very poor. The rich can pay for themselves. The only ones not covered are the working poor. If they make enough and their employer offers it, they can buy medical and drug coverage. If not, they can not go to the doctor when they need to and end up on permanent disability, paid for by the government, without making any contribution to society.

The HMOs are making tons of money, more than enough to sponsor rock concerts and ice skating shows.

Why not have a system like Canada? I would rather pay a little more in taxes than pay an HMO for poor coverage and have the peace of mind that if something happens it will be covered. If I change jobs I don't have to worry about losing coverage.

Having everyone be covered by the government would allow for standardization of formularies (what is covered) and how to bill. Most of my day is spent calling insurance companies to figure out what will be covered and how to get it covered.

Let's put HMOs out of business. Yes, waiting times may increase. However, they may not. If you want instant service for non-emergencies, you can have it by paying more.

Oh, well. I can dream.

On Hold

2006-04-26T23:17:00.000-04:00

If I'm such a valued customer who you can't wait to help, why don't you answer the freaking phone? So much of my work day is spent on hold. Grrr.

Bad Name of the Day: Nevaeh. Oh, gee, it's heaven backwards! Isn't that so clever? Since it's backwards, doesn't that mean the opposite of paradise?

House Party

2006-04-25T21:52:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'll admit it. I like the TV show House.

Not always accurate or realistic, but fun. I'm sure real CSI's or cops can watch CSI and point out stuff that is just plain wrong or would never happen in real life.

I like playing guess the diagnosis. Some times I even get it right.

There are days I consider going into more clinical practice. Putting pills in bottles and counseling patients on how to take cough syrup ten times a day gets old, but I'm sure clinical pharmacists have days they dream about a straight foreword community practice job.

House is the MD equivalent of a clinical pharmacist. I'm a working stiff in the equivalent of family practice or a clinic doc. Not glamorous, but needed.

Oh, well. I guess the grass is always greener. I can always watch House and get a cheap thrill.

Basket Case

2006-04-24T22:30:00.000-04:00

A few years ago a guy called me and told me he needed his prescriptions filled early. I asked him why. Normal procedure- the insurance company is going to ask me why, and may or may not pay for it. I've heard all kinds of reasons, some good, some bad, and some just plain crazy. This guy was definitely the third kind.

The KGB stole his medication. They came in through the window and took all his pills. This was the third time this year they had done this. At first I thought he was kidding around, but nope, this guy was serious.

I check his profile and, just as I had suspected, some powerful psych meds. I tell him I'll take care of it. I call his insurance company to see about getting an override for an early refill. They want to give me a hard time; according to them, if the patient wants his meds he has to pay out of pocket for them.

Patient says he can't afford them. Yes, they were expensive. I call insurance company back and see if there is any way he can have an early refill. They say no, it's not in his policy.

This guy honestly thinks the KGB stole his meds and his insurance company wants me to tell him tough luck. This isn't an allergy medication, where if the patient goes without he will just get a runny nose. This patient is a paranoid schizophrenic who may hurt himself or other people because he thinks the neighbor's dog told him to. This guy needs his meds. I really want to find a way for him to get his meds.

Being the creative person I am, I call the doctor, explain the situation, and have her call in a script for twice the dose the patient takes (ie, two pills instead of one). I call the insurance company and get an override for a change of dose without a problem. Then I fill the prescription using the patient's old labels so he doesn't get the doses mixed up and close the new, higher dose meds so they can't be filled next month and he can go back to filling his old script.

If the insurance company somehow caught me I would be in all kinds of trouble for insurance fraud, but what am I supposed to do? This is one person I really don't want to go without his meds. The insurance companies are so messed up that I have to do this just to make sure patient can get treated. I don't like breaking rules and/or laws, but what else can I do?

Bad Name of the Day: LaQuinetta. Isn't that a hotel chain?

Name

2006-04-23T20:48:00.000-04:00

Bad name of the day: Sandra- pronounced Son-dra. If you have a name that is pronounced different than how 99% of those with the same name pronounce it, don't get upset when I say it the way it is usually pronounced. Please don't get me wrong. Sandra is a nice normal name, but Son-dra just sounds silly.

Names

2006-04-22T20:44:00.000-04:00

What is with everyone suddenly having hyphenated last names? Just pick one. I'm all for women's lib and equal rights, but just pick one last name. Okay, names like Smith-Jones aren't too bad, but if your last name is three or four syllables, and your significant other has a three or four syllable last name, you're going to end up with a name that won't fit on any standardized form.

Your children, if you give them a hyphenated last name, are going to curse you, especially if matched with an excessively long first name like Mary Elizabeth. What happens when your child grows up and marries someone with a hyphenated last name? Are they going to have a last name with four names?

Stop the insanity!

Just pick one last name. You have three choices- the husband's last name, the wife's last name, or make up your own. When my husband and I married, we both took my last name. His was very pornographic. Mine's not perfect, but it was the lesser of two evils.

So what does this have to do with pharmacy? Woman was complaining because we couldn't fit her entire name in the space the computer gives us to enter last name because, you guessed it, it was a very long last name paired with another very long last name with a poor little hyphen in between. If your last name is more than fifteen characters long, don't pair it with another last name that is also more than fifteen characters long and expect it to fit into every field set aside for last names.

Bad Name of the Day: Ursula. Yes, it is an old fashioned name, but some names should just be allowed to die a dignified death.

The Phone

2006-04-20T10:16:00.000-04:00

Stupid phone conversations:

Me: Pharmacy, this is Mandy, how can I help you?

Stupid person #1: Hi, is the pharmacy open right now?

No, I just like to come in and answer phones.

When you first call our store, the recording says "this is a 24-hour pharmacy- we are always open." It's amazing, after hearing that, how many people will stay on the phone to ask if we will be open at a certin time.

Stupid person #2: Will you be open Saturday night about ten?

Me: We are open 24 hours a day.

Stupid person #2: So, will you be open Saturday night?

Uh, that's kind of what open 24 hours means- we never close. Except for that pesky 25th hour that sneaks in once a year. That's nap time.

In the words of one of the famous redneck comedians, Here's Your Sign.

SPAM

2006-04-19T21:50:00.000-04:00

Got this is an e-mail today. It reminds me of how I have to edit what I say to patients, coworkers, and, on occasion, friends and family. Enjoy!

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to my attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" Phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f*** you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b****.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f***ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh***ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with Georgia.
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh**.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f***ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f***?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh** won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a**.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh** and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a**.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F*** it, I'm on salary!

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a**.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.

Bad Medicine

2006-04-19T10:03:00.000-04:00

Big guy (over six feet tall, at least 300 pounds) brought in a script last week for Lortab (hydrocodone and acetaminophen). Problem with with script- it's written for an overdose of acetaminophen. The max on acetaminophen is 4,000mg (8 Lortabs) per day. This script was written for 8,000mg (16 Lortabs) per day. I ask the patient about it, he says yes, he takes 16 a day. I tell him this is an overdose- he's going to kill his liver. He says that's how his NP (nurse pratictioner) told him to take it- he's a big guy, his body can take it.

I call NP, who tells me it's none of my business, that I should just put the pills in a bottle, give it to the guy, and shut up. That's my job- following his orders. I don't think so. He dies, or needs a liver transplant, my butt is going to get sued right along with the NP.

A little basic pharmacology: it really doesn't matter how big you are, your liver is not proportional to your size. A 300 pound giant doesn't have a liver three times the size of a short 100 pound female. Four grams is the upper limit of acetaminophen for all adults, regardless of size. If you are very small and/or short (we're talking little people, here), you may need a smaller maximum dose. A very large person may be able to tolerate a slightly higher dose than the average, smaller adult, but 1. your liver is only going to be able to remove so much acetaminophen before it starts to poison your liver, and 2. a slightly higher dose does not mean twice the maximum daily dose.

I explain this to NP, who tries to rip me a new one. I tell him I'm not killing anyone today, his patient will have to go somewhere else to get this filled. I write on the script "This is an OVERDOSE!!!" so any other pharmacists will know what is going on. I give the script back to now angry patient.

Patient starts complaining that he had to leave his old pharmacy for the same reason- they refused to do what his "doctor" ordered! What a surprise.

Bad name of the day: California.

People are Strange

2006-04-18T13:40:00.000-04:00

No real strange people/incidents today, so I'll tell you a story one of my co-workers told me.

He was working at one of our other locations when an old lady with soda pop bottle glasses pulls into the drive thru backwards. She gets out of the car and looks around. He goes over to the window and asks if he can help her. She asks how you work the gas pump- her car is running on empty!

He tells her this is a pharmacy, not a gas station. Meanwhile, another car pulls up (the right way). Granny gets back in her car, starts it, puts it in gear, then looks up to see the other car right in front of her. She starts beeping her horn at the other car. Woman in other car can't back up because another car has pulled in back of her.

Granny rolls her window down to yell at woman in other car. My friend tells Granny she is the one going the wrong way, and she is going to have to back out. Granny says the drive thru needs to be better marked!

Now, the drive thru has big DO NOT ENTER signs on either side of where she pulled in. There are no gas pumps in sight, and the building is clearly marked PHARMACY.

Watch out, because Granny is probably still out there driving.

Bad name of the day: Richard Richardson (or Chris Christopher or David Davidson). Come on, be a little bit original. If it's a woman, okay, maybe she married into that name, but a guy? Puh-lease.

The Dingus

2006-04-17T15:49:00.000-04:00

Not a pharmacy related post, but a Buffalo post.

Today is a holiday, I found out this morning. I asked one of my techs why she was carrying a pussywillow. She looked at me like I was crazy, and told me it was Dingus Day.

Well, duh. Why didn't I think of that? I see my coworkers bringing plants to work, I automatically think "Dingus Day." Who doesn't?

And what, you may ask, is Dingus Day? (I know I did.) Apparently its a Polish tradition to celebrate the end of Lent. Young women hit guys they like with pussywillows (or, in a more modern twist, squirt them with water guns).

Like almost all Americanized holidays, drinking large amounts of beer is required.

Enough said.

Bad name of the day: Buffi. Buffy is bad enough, but with an I? "Its so she doesn't get mixed up with the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Buffy. Isn't it cute?" Uh, no. Kind of sad, really.

UPDATE: I stand corrected. Thanks, Bill. Its Dyngus Day. See This Link for more info.

Names

2006-04-16T15:03:00.000-04:00

Bad name of the day: Willie. Not William, Willie. Look, it may be cute now, but when he's thrity and trying to get a real job, its not so cute. Not to mention he's going to get beaten up in high school for having a slightly pronographic name.

Name

2006-04-15T22:37:00.000-04:00

Bad name of the day: LeFrancois. For a poor little (not French) boy. Why, oh, why do you hate your child? What did he ever do to you?

Don't go away mad, just go away...

2006-04-14T21:14:00.000-04:00

Every month, this same guy keeps having problems- his Medicaid is constantly being denied (I don’t know and don’t care why), he is out of refills and pills (and this always happens on Saturday night), he and his doctor can’t agree on doses (doc says two pills a day, he says doc said four a day), etc. In short, it’s always something.

I tried, at first, to help him, like I do for everyone. Tried, past tense, because he is always very rude, very condescending, and has a potty mouth. Now, I could care less. He always threatens to take his business elsewhere.

Yes, please.

The other pharmacy down the road is open 24 hours, and I’m sure they’d love to have you. (Insert sarcasm here.) I can’t wait for you to go away. Your meds are only about $300 in sales. The pharmacy does about $60,000 a day in sales. We’re not going to go bankrupt if you leave (one of his favorite lines- "I spend blah blah blah here"). I spend so much time on the phone that it would be a good thing if you left. I would have more time to help nice (or even indifferent) people.

He says he is never coming back every month because we are a bunch of incompetent *#^@*(^*@(^#^$&. Every month, he comes back. Please go away.

Pretty please with sugar on top.

Bad name of the day: Candida. It’s a common yeast infection. Don’t name your kids after anything that makes women’s private parts itch.

If I could put time in a bottle...

2006-04-13T10:28:00.000-04:00

“What do you mean it will take twenty minutes? All you have to do is put pills in a bottle!”

Yes, I could randomly put pills in a bottle. However, if you want me to type up a label, bill your insurance company, print a label, check for interactions with your other meds, get the right pills, count them carefully, then double check everything to make sure it is correct, it’s going to take at least ten minutes. Of course, there are five other people with twelve total prescriptions waiting ahead of you, so, you know what? It’ll probably be more like thirty minutes.

That’s assuming your doctor/PA/nurse wrote the prescription right, it doesn’t interact with anything you are already taking, and your insurance company will cover it. If not, try again later. Or maybe even tomorrow. I’ll have to make a few phone calls to get it straightened out.

Of course, if the phone rings I’ll have to answer it. Add five more minutes- it never rings just once, and it’s never a straightforward question. I’ll have to listen to Mrs. Smith tell me all about her cats before I finally hear her question. (“Can I take my aspirin with water?” As opposed to what, swallowing it dry?)

Now add a few more minutes because Mr. Lee wants a rain check on size AA batteries, the crazy cat lady wants to complain that the cat food doesn't taste fresh (she knows this how?), and Mrs. Blind-as-a-bat can’t find the vitamin C that is on sale and wants me come out and find it for her (“You’re not busy dear, please help a (lazy) old lady.”) even though I pointed out exactly where it is and told her exactly what it looks like.

Twenty minutes is starting to sound good, isn’t it? If you can't wait that long, you are free to take your business elsewhere. I don't mind. Really.

Bad name of the day: Unique. It’s not. There are at least four other Uniques in Buffalo. I know because I also fill their scripts.

Stupid Girls

2006-04-12T23:59:00.000-04:00

And to be filed under are you freaking kidding me:

Lady calls, very upset. She wants to make a complaint about how the pharmacy's unsafe practices have injured her. Oh no, I think, did she get the wrong drug? Nope. This rocket scientist pricked her thumb on the staple used to close the bags and she wants to know what I'm going to do about it. You mean after I quit laughing?

She goes on and on, basically saying that if I don't give her money she is going to sue me, personally, put the store out of business, and/or take me job.

I'm not making this up.

I politely tell her to get lost, she isn't getting any money out of me. I offer to put a note on her profile that she can't use staples. I'm proud to say I said this without a trace of sarcasm in my voice. She says she's going to get an infection and die. No, she doesn't take Haldol, but maybe she should.

Wow. And it's not even a full moon.

Bad name of the day: Precious. After the Lord of the Rings movies came out.

Welcome to the Jungle (we got fun and games)

2006-04-12T22:16:00.000-04:00

Hi. This is my first post, so let me introduce myself. I'm a pharmacist (yes, I sell drugs- but the government told me I could) at a national chain pharmacy. I won't say which, so I can gripe about work all I want and not get in trouble with the Powers that Be.

Gripe of the day: My name is Mandy. Not Amanda. I answer the phone,"Hi, this is Mandy, can I help you?"

"Hi Amanda, blah blah blah." Gah! Stupid head!

I didn't pick my name. Blame my parents and Barry Manilow. (I know I spelled that wrong, so byte me.)

Bad name(s) of the day: Orangejello (Or-rahn-jah-lo) and Lemonjello (le-mon-jah-lo). They are twins and their parents should be shot (or at least have their names changed to Mr. and Mrs. Stupid and Idiot Dumbass).